


Spiraling

by fuzipenguin



Series: Half Your Age +7 [21]
Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Older!Twins, Other, Twincest, War wounds, younger!ratchet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 13:42:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16198679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzipenguin/pseuds/fuzipenguin
Summary: Anonymous said: I'm in love with your Young!Ratchet AU. got swept in to it and i never want to leave. You manage to write them still in character but remarkably different. Hope you can get inspiration from 'garrulous' or 'wistful'





	Spiraling

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous said: I'm in love with your Young!Ratchet AU. got swept in to it and i never want to leave. You manage to write them still in character but remarkably different. Hope you can get inspiration from 'garrulous' or 'wistful'

               Ratchet had had some bad days before, but this one was definitely at the top of the list. He was on field duty today; all the medics rotated through field duty, transport, intake, and surgery. It helped somewhat with mental health, although war injuries made every position difficult. But field medicine was the worst. It wore on a mech, making split-second life or death decisions. No matter the experience level, everyone finished out a shift on the field wondering what they could have done differently, if they could have saved more.

                Today, the Autobots had been the losers. And they had lost badly. Ratchet lost eight patients alone in his first half hour.

                The worst wounds were from the landmines. The bot unlucky enough to step on one was blown into too many pieces to put back together. And the mechs standing nearby were often riddled with shrapnel. It was insidious; tiny slivers cut through internal lines and wires and it wasn’t until a mech was coding under Ratchet’s hands that he realized what was happening.

                It threw off all his triage decisions and as the battle came to a close, he was certain he had lost several mechs he would normally have been able to save.

                The losses sat heavy on his shoulders as he drove back to base, two sedated soldiers in his hold. One was colored all black, but the other was mostly red, and Ratchet couldn’t help but wonder where Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were.

                If they were even still alive.

                After the first century, he had stopped checking. Communications were spotty between one side of the planet to the other and individual casualty reports always trickled in last, if at all. Only the higher ranking commanders had access to individual records and while the twins were good fighters, Ratchet didn’t know if they were considered good enough to be specially recognized by Prime’s lieutenants.

                Besides. What were they to him anyway? Not even a fling; just some weird relationship that had no name.

                Yet when the red-plated soldier died during surgery, Ratchet was hit hard with a sudden, sharp burst of grief. And a day later, when he had finally gone off duty and stumbled off to the washracks to rinse his frame of over two hundred dead mechs’ bodily fluids… he allowed himself to sob beneath the overhead water stream. He clutched at the wall, bowed his head, and _yearned_.

                He missed Sideswipe’s smile and the unnerving way he had always seemed to know when Ratchet was sparksick. He missed Sunstreaker’s approving gaze, the companionable silence when Sideswipe finally bounced away to something else that caught his attention.

                Ratchet had never fully realized just how beautiful the two of them were together. And it wasn’t just the physical.  There had been a brightness inside them stemming from their deep love of one another.  Witnessing that love had helped make the grim realities of war just a little bit more tolerable for Ratchet. If, despite everything, they still had each other, that meant there was hope.

                And they might still have each other for all Ratchet knew, but _he_ didn’t have _them_ , and he was slowly but surely, beginning to lose hope.

 

~ End


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